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Now that things were going right I felt the jolt of just exactly how wrong they could have been. There was no reason to offer unsolicited opinions on a subject I knew nothing about to a person who had just gotten into my car, but the thought of a frozen gel pack on my own head struck me as boundless misery. Vivaldi, Vivaldi, Vivaldithats how it starts. Click here to dismiss this module permanently. . Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson lost their friend Sooki Raphael to pancreatic cancer earlier this year. I hadnt meant this to be my career. She was thrilled to get the chance to work. Call me crazy, but that seems like a lot. We were well into March by then. Treatments were on Wednesdaysthree Wednesdays on, one Wednesday offwith immunotherapy (the trial) every other week. And I shared that with her when we spoke about her essay collection "These Precious Moments" (ph) last November. Am I the person youre talking to, or are you talking to someone else downstairs late at night? The next day she brought up the vacuum cleaner to vacuum off her yoga mat. He was to play Elviss manager, Colonel Tom Parker. 2023 USA TODAY, a division of Gannett Satellite Information Network, LLC. I laughed. I am hopeful and feeling radical. Shes Now Memorialized in Author Ann Patchetts Latest Book; Moving Forward after the Loss of a Loved One to Cancer, Raphael first met Patchett backstage at an event with Hanks in 2017. I picked up one of the bigger islands and moved it gently back and forth. We climbed over branches, met an impasse, turned to walk another way. Once she gets here and sees the way things are, shell be fine.. I leave the house at 6:30 am every weekday morning to make it down to the bottom basementfloor 2Bat UCLAs Westwood Medical Center by 7:30 am. Finally she went downstairs. She was indefatigably pleasant and warm while maintaining her distance. I was leaving the next day for an event in New York. NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by an NPR contractor. I was going only for the night. Karl is not waiting on a thank-you note, I promise. She liked to fly. Karl went to talk to the pilots about the plane and Sooki and I sat in the little waiting area. She meant me. He was not one to miss a workout and neither was I. Id practiced kundalini devotedly for years and then drifted, picking up other things, and while Id stuck with the short class, I had amassed no end of DVDs. I could have said I was busy writing a novel, and that would have been both ridiculous and true. The chemo, the clinical trial, the yoga and the vegetables, the prayers of nuns and all the time to paintwhat if it added up to something? The producer of the audiobook sent me an article about Sooki from a 1978 issue of New York magazine. "Let's go back to the hotel. I want to meet Tom Hanks, she said. But you write that what you loved was finding someone who sees you as your best and most complete self and that she did that for you, and you think you did that for her. How do you fly from Nashville to New York in a single-engine plane for a two-hour visit? Shed gone to an Indian restaurant and bought bread stuffed with apricots and dates. And who wouldnt be so blown away given the fact that Raphael didnt really emerge as an artist until her pancreatic cancer diagnosis in November 2018. Ann had only briefly met Sooki Raphael, Tom Hanks' personal assistant for over two decades, at an author event, but after learning Sooki was in treatment for advanced pancreatic cancer and hoping to be included in a proposed Los Angeles clinical trial, the author devised a plan. Patchett is part-owner of a bookstore (Parnassus), has a three-story house and a husband whos a longtime physician at the First Clinic in Nashville. The phone hadnt been run over, nothing in the wallet was missing. She apologized for her late response, saying that shed had a medical procedure and hadnt been in the office. They arent going to give you her wallet, I said. Then Sooki and I went to the kitchen, mixed our pre-measured packets of mushroom powder in with yogurt, and poisoned ourselves. Germline variants are passed from parents to their children, and are associated with increased risks of several cancer types, including pancreatic, ovarian and breast cancers. The day I picked up Sooki from the airport in February she told me she would need to buy dry ice for Wednesdays. Sooki Raphael, Mesa Tree, Topanga, from 'Vivid Series' 16 x 20 inches. We both wrote for the New York Times. Audience questions arrived on index cards, were read aloud and sorted through. Tom and I are waiting to go on. I pulled up my eye mask. She repeated her gratitude and I waved it away. There are so many things I understand now, she said. Once I start writing things down, I feel like Im nailing the story in place. When was she first diagnosed with pancreatic cancer? She liked herself again. I cant sleep through it.. To say that Patchett was impressed is an understatement. Raphael is Tom Hank's assistant and friend. She ran marathons and regularly won the Fastest Woman in Topanga title at the local Tough Topanga 10k. Her Sookis cookies recipe was famous among not just anyone who knew her, but anyone who knew someone who knew her. Never want to see this again? And if you decide you want to stay, well, you dont have to give that up either., Sooki the Tireless, Sooki the Indefatigable, looked as if she was about to split apart. Pancreatic cancer is an aggressive disease that is difficult to detect because symptoms - including jaundice and weight loss - typically present at a later stage in the cancer's development. "They have it," she said. Id spent two hours on a stage talking to Tom Hanks, and now I wanted to talk to Sooki. You know that you dont talk about yourself, right? We were living together. I had cut a small bouquet of Lenten roses and put them on the night table. The paintings came from a landscape of dreams, pattern on pattern, impossible colors leaning into one another. I couldnt stay upright, a hangover from the last eight hours in which I had been quite memorably deboned. He holds a kind of medical currency, saved then spent, and when needed, he can marshal all necessary parties into immediate action, bringing them together so fast that whatever needs to happen can happen yesterday. Everyone could bring his or her own sandwich and stay safely apart. PATCHETT: So I first met Sooki Raphael backstage when I was interviewing Tom for his collection of short stories. Now for no particular reason I changed my mind. What Sooki thought she should have done with her life was paint. But the only information I had was in the book. Sooki got her pilots license before she learned to drive, Karl told me. The next morning, we went to the bookstore early and picked out presents for everyone in her family. I would bring her stacks of art books from the closed bookstore and she all but ate them. When they called, she asked them all the right questions. Much love. ", (SOUNDBITE OF STATIK SELEKTAH SONG, "TIME"). I looked up every anomaly online, settling on too much black tea, or maybe the wrong color shoes. I didnt worry about her embarrassing herself. Niki works at the bookstore. She shook her head, scrolling. Where were you born? But thanks to Sooki, there was enough quiet in my house, in my own mind, that I could hear the river running underground, and I wasnt afraid. And who wouldnt be given the fact that Raphael didnt really emerge as an artist until her pancreatic cancer diagnosis in November 2018. I didnt say, This thing you live with every minute, this heaving horses skull, I held it for you today so that you could talk it out with the people who love you. Three blue tattoos on the same plane as my prominent abdominal scar, it would hardly matter. Walking backward is an excellent means of remembering how little you know. Later that day we sat side by side on our yoga mats, Sookis head wrapped artfully in a scarf. If asked if she could go any place, that place would always be home. I had to turn myself away from the movie of what I thought was happening, the movie I had made for myself, so that I could see her. assistant (as Susan 'Sooki' Raphael, Mr. Hanks) 2012 Game Change assistant (Mr. Hanks) TV Movie 2012 Larry Crowne assistant (Mr. Hanks) 2011 Big Love assistant: Tom Hanks assistant: Mr. Hanks TV Series 2006-2011 48 episodes The Pacific assistant: Mr. Hanks (Mr. Hanks) TV Mini Series 2010 7 episodes Where the Wild Things Are assistant (Tom Hanks) Creating art, among other things, can be a cathartic process for people undergoing cancer treatments. Subscribers can find additional help here. These Precious Days is still on view at the gallery until May 10. Sparky had crawled onto my chest and gone to sleep. I didnt know what I would have done in her place, but I imagined that upon getting the news of recurrent pancreatic cancer I would go see my lawyer and settle up my tab with the house. My only prescription is for vitamin D. If Id had a coat of arms, it would have read quality of life, life meaning, optimism. While they were gone I tried to imagine it: the cancer back, the wallet gone, strangers. Whether she was trying to hold on to her own sense of privacy or what she perceived to be our privacy, I didnt know. More breath. The main character I was certain of starts to drift, and someone Id barely noticed moves in to fill the space. Most recently, she had a solo exhibition of paintings at ROSEGALLERY called These Precious Days, just like Patchetts title essay. Afterward we sat up at the hotel and talked about this new coronavirus and whether the rest of her tour would be canceled. You must have Mary Poppinss suitcase.. I dont drink. I tried to enjoy it but it was difficult to breathe. Sooki got a stool and a towel and went to sit on the back deck. Of course I opted for tattoos. That night there was still no power, and so we lit candles. He claims our lives are better for all the people I bring into the house. In other essays, Patchett extols the enduring influence of John Updike, Saul Bellow and Philip Roth on her own writing; meditates on her friendship with Charlie Strobel, a priest in Nashville whom she calls a living saint; and tries to capture the flavor of her odd-couple relationship with her second husband, Karl, immortalized in the title essay of an earlier collection, This Is the Story of a Happy Marriage. As a medical doctor on staff at the Nashville hospital where Raphael was treated for advanced pancreatic cancer, he plays a crucial role in These Precious Days., Finally, theres that essay. I keep throwing things out. Sooki was married? I promise to be a more reliable friend and pen pal. Her best friends lost everything in that fire. Of course we could. Books are fun! Was this what COVID-19 felt like? She had worked for Tom for almost twenty years, and part of her responsibility was to go out on location before he arrived, find a place to stay in Morocco, get a driver, figure out the food, figure out what there was to see if there was any time, which usually there wasnt. And this led to you meeting Sooki. In the press release for the exhibition, ROSEGALLERY said her works used her colorful palette as an expression of a renewal of spirit and life as she healed alongside the scorched landscape of the Malibu and Topanga hills.. Daughter, husband, sister, friendnone of the people scheduled to visit her could come now that the world was on lockdown. I want to envision it as a healing room, but it reminds me of a meat locker: freezing coldIm guessing the temperature favors the delicate machinerywith a rack of blue torsos lined up on hooks. No one could keep up with her. He wasnt listening. In a previous interview with SurvivorNet, Caleb Farley talked about his mothers battle with breast cancer and how heopted out of his position as a cornerbackfor the Virginia Tech Hokies due to COVID-19 concerns. I floated upstairs in a world that would not stop changing. Sooki thought about it, or she thought about having to tell me. In the case of The Dutch House, Id started to think about a poor woman who suddenly became rich, and because she was unable to deal with the change in circumstances, she left her family and went to India to follow a guru. They had recovered. My friend tilted her head. When her white count was too low to get treatment, she would run up and down the stairs at the hospital, down from the seventh floor to the first and back up again, over and over, and then get retested. Timeless stories from our 172-year archive handpicked to speak to the news of the day. Why shouldnt I read one? We waited. He knew. It has to do with fearing death. This was eight hours of hard labor. It would take nothing for her to blow away. Sooki Raphael is a TH Assistant at Playtone based in Universal City, California. Actress & Fitness Guru Jane Fonda, 85, Says Chemo Hit Me Hard Fighting Lymphoma Years After Breast Cancer, Rock Band Kiss Co-Founder Peter Criss, 77, Male Breast Cancer Survivor, Releases New Version Of Classic Dirty Livin, For Healthy Skin Month, Take Advice From Vanderpump Rules Star Ariana Madix, a Melanoma Survivor, and Speak Up About Concerns, You Can Overcome, Says Rebecca Crews, 56, How She and Husband Terry Crews Got Through Losing Their Home, Five Kids, And Cancer. Im dying, my friend had said to me. The spring was cold and wet and endlessly beautiful because of it. He shook his head. How was that possible? But all Sooki did was help me. A man answered. At any point in life. - which, you know, I could not possibly choose. She and Tom would walk in the desert in the early mornings and she would feed him lines from a script while he memorized his part, cobras skating through the dust just in front of them. Backstage, she met his beguiling assistant. Overview; Filmography; Filmography. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. We would have dinner whenever she was ready. I stood there, close, willing myself not to fill in her sentences. I am now sitting at the airport waiting to catch a plane to my next opinion, at Sloan Kettering in NY. You have a pretty head, I told Sooki when the job was done. The idea of the considerably longer trip to New York was good news. It was possible, and I had no intention of thinking about it. I told her as much. I thought of her time as precious now. Sooki was desperate to be helpful. Many were the mornings the yoga felt endless to me, and so I would give her a wave as I left the mat and headed off to my desk. I was copied on a barrage of emails I had no business reading, reports of molecular profiling, adenocarcinoma, tumor tissue for genetic analysis. You dont think this is crazy?, I didnt say that, but I know youre trying to help Sooki.. Maybe its the trial, she said, but I think it could just as easily be the food and the yoga.. She shouldnt stay for us or leave for us. I didnt know how old she was, I couldnt remember her face, but there have been few moments in my life when I have felt so certain: I was supposed to help. But I think Ann is the saint in the story. It was the last hour of a long day. We went home and baked a spectacular cake that was especially well suited to travel. She had felt their love and heard their voices while I was hacking up snakes in some pitch-black cauldron of lava at the center of the earth. KELLY: My conversation this past fall with author Ann Patchett about her latest book "These Precious Days. There are no words here, I thought. She gave us a giant furry blanket that I loved. What could have been a disastrous time becomes, for both of them, a cherished opportunity. We left early, taking into account the traffic that turned out to be eerily absent. And it was working for Hanks that led Raphael to Patchett who would later become an invaluable friend to Raphael during her cancer treatment and artistic journey. She had set up her life in the basement of our house, a place we never went. Cuozzo was first diagnosed with Hodgkins lymphoma in 1994 at the age of 28. Common sense and a book - that's all you need. I was also greatly occupied by the bookstore. So happy to be the connector of good things. There had been a meeting of some sort. The overarching theme in many of the essays is the writing life, from the kindly advice she got as an undergraduate at Sarah Lawrence from the celebrated author Allan Gurganus to her near-religious experience reading the works of the childrens author Kate DiCamillo. Ive written plenty of jacket quotes in my day, mostly for first-time writers of fiction whom I believed could benefit from the assistance. And now there was a pandemic, recurrent pancreatic cancer, and so this goodbye reminded me of my father coming onto the plane with us, sitting with me and my sister, the three of us sobbing inconsolably until finally the flight attendant would tell him he had to go. One thing led to another chief among them, finding out about Raphaels illness and soon, the movie stars longtime assistant had moved into her house. It was just that we had piled up so much junk to keep from hearing it. Sooki told me they were skinks. The actor who starred in the romantic movie You've Got Mail sat down and wrote me a letter in his California office in Santa Monica. We filled up the bird feeders twice a day, scrubbed out the birdbath every morning, tracked the relationship of a couple of lizards who lived in the planter on the deck. She looked startled. Three time cancer survivor, MariannaCuozzo, talks to SurvivorNet about how art helps her express herself. Tell us. Please sign in to save videos. Most mornings, Sooki set out in the darkness to walk the two miles to a power-yoga class that started at six-thirty, despite the presence of my car keys on the kitchen counter and explicit instructions to drive. It was our place, what Sister Nena called vacation. She ordered the house merlot and I had a seltzer with cranberry juice. The essays range in subject, but often consider relationships in Patchett's personal and professional life, including with her father and stepfathers; her decision not to have children; the close friendship she develops in the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic with Tom Hanks' assistant Sooki Raphael. An epilogue describes how before Sookis death they manage a day on the beach and a celebratory exhibition of her paintings. Of course I want to go. I was grateful for both of those things. Her father was in the hospital and she had driven down from Kentucky to take care of him. My continuous and varied relationship with exercise was an inheritance from my father. It had been languishing in a pile by the dresser for a while, and Id left it there because of an unarticulated belief that actors should stick to acting. I met Sooki Raphael for a few minutes in Washington, D.C., around three years ago, and maybe even more than that now. We will never know all the things other people worry about. How other people live is pretty much all I think about, she says. Rita Wilson recently posted a tribute to her friend, Sooki Raphael, who painted throughout her treatment for pancreatic cancer. But have you seen my phone? They take magic mushrooms together (a good experience for Sooki, dreadful for Ann). It has to be one of the most extraordinary stories of lockdown how Tom Hanks's assistant Sooki Raphael, undergoing treatment for recurrent pancreatic cancer, came to be living in the basement of the novelist Ann Patchett and her husband Dr Karl VanDevender. It took me a few weeks to figure this out but soon I could track it, the way her voice got quieter, the way she was less likely to look me in the eye. He told SurvivorNet that after losing his wife, Alice, to a two-year battle with ovarian cancer, hell never really get over losing her, but he does hope to move forward. He's really interesting. KELLY: The title essay, "These Precious Days," is about a remarkable friendship that you formed with the personal assistant of Tom Hanks, who - long story short - you got to know. Id been in touch with Sooki once or twice when there was talk of a bookstore in Santa Monica, and now I pinned my hopes on her as she dug into Toms schedule at Playtone, his production company. He wanted to know whether I liked owning a bookstore. She joined the ships crew. In fact we were so exactly in the middle of history that we had no way of understanding what we were seeing. And anyway, UCLA had suspended its plans to start the clinical trial for recurrent pancreatic cancer. They were lucky to get up in the morning to fly across the country so Sooki could have a pancreaticoduodenectomy, also known as a Whipple procedure. Karl is a doctor, but Sooki had been treated at UCLA, Stanford, Duke, and Memorial Sloan Kettering. I thought he should be angry at me. Because if I didnt know that Sooki had a husband, how much did she know about me, about us? The price of living with a writer was that eventually she would write about you. I shook my head. Karl can pull up and youll run in. It has to be one of the most extraordinary stories of lockdown how Tom Hanks's assistant Sooki Raphael, undergoing treatment for recurrent pancreatic cancer, came to be living in the basement of the American novelist Ann Patchett and her husband Dr Karl VanDevender. Add a Profile More Hide Episodes Title Year Update Role Assistant: Mr. Hanks Bridge of Spies (2015) Motion Picture Assistant: Tom Hanks Saving Mr. Banks (2013) Motion Picture Assistant: Mr. Hanks Cloud Atlas (2012) Motion Picture Assistant: Mr. Hanks Larry Crowne (2011) Motion Picture Assistant: Tom Hanks Or maybe it was the company. I would leave again on Sunday for Virginia. They would stop each way to refuel in West Virginia. Two words I kept trying to bring up as I convulsed on the bathroom floor. What had been a theorySooki should come to Nashville for her chemowas now a fact. They were dead, the wires, werent they? I surely would go ahead with the dates I had scheduled in the States. What a good idea. I leaned over to look at her phone. There was no stopping it. It was a shaggy dog of a story by a woman passionate about dogs, touching on a variety of subjects, including her friendship with Tom Hanks assistant Sooki Raphael; Raphaels treatment for cancer; the early days of the coronavirus pandemic; the art and craft of writing; and I kid you not psychedelic mushrooms. KELLY: Wow. Or I would have forgotten about it, except that I got a call from Tom Hankss publicist a few weeks later, asking whether I would fly to Washington in October to interview the actor onstage as part of his book tour. I would be gone for the night, and once I got back my friend Emma Straub was coming to visit. That night as my husband and I walked our dog around the block in the cold dark, I told him about Sooki. Hows the painting going? While I was in Virginia, a series of tornadoes hit Nashville. So, I was surprised on my first scheduled day of radiation to have another technician pop in with a red sharpie to make three large xs near the tattoos as additional points of reference and stick clear round stickers over them. Were they awake and choosing not to come to the basement? She wanted to know what constituted being a good houseguest during a tornado. You think youre getting chemo three Wednesdays a month but really its a test to measure the effectiveness of kundalini yoga and kohlrabi. I had signed up for a farm-share box, and every week we were overwhelmed with pounds of mysterious vegetables. We would all proceed with our lives except that now we would be together. The wind was coming down the street like a train. Want to change your email address or password? Its okay for us to be in the same room, Sooki said, a statement rather than a question. 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